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Guest Blogger: Arista

Hi, thanks for taking the time to talk with me. I know I have kind of a ‘man eater’ reputation as the Ice Queen of the entire school. I thought it would be nice to get a chance to set the record straight.
I’m not really as stand-offish as everybody thinks. I’m just having a hard time adjusting to life out of the ocean. You landies, you wear so many clothes! These shirts are so confining and even your best-engineered eighteen hour bra can’t offer the support that being surrounded by sea water gives you.
And these ridiculous long, shapely legs! So hard to walk around on! I really prefer swimming around on my te-
Well, let’s just call them my “sea legs”.
But I’m not some huge bitch! It makes me sad that’s what everybody thinks of me.
Gilbert’s the only one here that ever saw past the reputation I had at my old school. The only one that ever took a chance and really got to know me.

And look at us now: we’ve been dating for almost three months!
Even Christine took a while to warm up to me, and that girl doesn’t care what anybody else thinks!
But I’m acclimating myself to your surface world. Slowly but surely. I’ve got my man and my close group of friends: Christine and Anna.
I barely ever have to lure boys to-
I mean, I almost never hear Stix Deadlift talking shit about me behind my back anymore.
So, come on, give me some credit for growing as a person. Vote for me for “Most Popular Character”, please!


‘Never Skinny-dip With Mermaids’ is free today, Aug. 28

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